Desire of my heart now delayed....

This is HARD.... so very hard.  I think I am doing OK and then another heavy chest-heart breaking day occurs.  I watch my friends and families lives move forward, and in all reality I am moving forward too, but without a huge part of me.  A friend told me that a friend of hers who's husband was killed said she felt like a cork in the ocean.  Wow.... some days are like that.  I do have the gospel to anchor me, a loving Heavenly Father too, but why does it still hurt so bad?  Part of grieving is mourning the person you were before.  I miss all of the companionship Alain and I shared together.  It may seem like I am looking behind and not ahead, but one does the best one can.  PATIENCE... and active waiting and enduring.  I can do this.  I am doing this....