Continuing on with my day in downtown Naples...
Thursday, March 10
I am
by the fireplace in Shawno and Carol's kitchen. It is so warm and inviting. We have had a long day, and Carol is fixing us another delicious meal.
We drove to Pozzuoli to the train station. We rode the train to downtown NAPLES. We walked and walked and walked, just like "little pioneer children..." I took many pictures! I loved watching small groups of men huddled together talking, very animated, using their hands and intense expressions to communicate. The traffic is CRAZY with a capital "C"! I kept expecting to see a crash or be in one. Scooters everywhere, cars driving fast on the narrow streets...parked every which way on both sides of the street. I know we were watched over and blessed.
As I began to miss my Alain, I decided to just "write to him."
Alain,
Honey, I can't express in words how empty I feel without you. I'm SO afraid that each day without you will somehow make you feel that much farther away from me. I try to picture your face, your skin, your hands, your touch.... I try to see your smile, hear your voice, feel your arms around me. All I can think about is how one day you were here, and our lives, our love, our plans, seemed so real and vibrant, and the next day you were gone...
you are gone. I want to wish you back, I want you, I really, really love and miss
US! I keep trying to be "realistic," "mature," strong!" It just HURTS!... my heart is very heavy. You brought so much light and joy and comfort and security to my life. It feels like a punishment to be alone now. I feel like I must have done something bad or wrong. Oh how I wish I could just hold you, kiss you and talk to you.
..just one more time. I'm praying that somehow you can stay close by us. I'm finding it hard to project my life from now on. I picture me being strong by being busy, going back to school, home improvement projects, time with our grandchildren and family, making friends and being with people in the ward. Then I picture myself alone in a quiet house, month after month, year after year, without my best friend. When will we be together again? Honey, I know I've felt you say to me,
"TRUST...it will be OK." So, I have a choice to move forward, step after step. I will try to make you proud. Our temple covenants bring me peace and hope.
Why did you have to be so wonderful?PS. While you're building our mansion above, could I request a fireplace in the kitchen?
....to be continued!
