Tuesday, May 31, 2011

My sister's memories...

My memories of Alain were of his kindness, gentleness,

his love of the gospel, his caring for others,

even at the expense of his own needs at times.

I loved him the most because of his goodness to Donna, my sister.

I wanted her to be happy and he made her happy.

And Donna loved him.
They were kindred spirits in many ways.

I so appreciated his desire to help me solve a problem I had in my chicken coop

by helping me design and then make a wonderful tool

to help me clean out the chicken poop

in the 8 inches of pine shavings I use to keep the coop clean.

He worked and worked until he had it just right

and was so willing to listen to my needs.

I always marveled as Alain pushed along with life enduring physical pain

that few knew he suffered with.

He wouldn't let it get him down and he always had a smile

and a wonderful, warm greeting for everyone.

I loved that he loved so many.

I miss him

as I know so many also miss him but we will look forward to seeing his smile again some day.

He has been a wonderful example to me of Christlike love.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Paris, Idaho for Memorial Day 2011

Another reminder.
Another first for me.
Memorial Day 2011

As the scouts put the American flag in the front yard this morning
I truly was saddened and reminded
of my loss!

Missing him....
husband, son, father, brother
and much, much more.

We keep going through the motions.
We bought beautiful flowers,
planned a lunch,
checked the weather,
and arrived to more proof
of the reality
that his sweet smile,
fun laugh,
helping hands and tender ways....
are just not with us anymore.....
oh, how we are missing him.

Twenty two family members met us at the cemetery.
Freezing cold (again!)
with rain & umbrella's...
To honor this great man.....

We love and miss Alain.
We know where he is,
and we know that we will once again be complete
when we are with him again....

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Precious Bonding....

I flew into the San Diego Airport
and was picked up by Brandon.
He took me to breakfast and then to the
Mormon Battalion History Museum!

Next we drove a couple of hours to get to their
beautiful home.
Mom & dad left on a cruise!!
I was taking the first shift watching the kids...
their other grandparents took the next.

Overwhelming sadness hit me being there knowing

Alain wasn't ever going to be there with me again.
Tears...prayers...& answers.
Rolled my sleeves up and went to work.

They all are energizer bunnies.

Jump.... climb...bounce, bounce, bounce!

I did a lot of bribing with...
Ice Cream, gummy bears, Dum Dum suckers & Popsicles...
hence the blue tongues!

He is part monkey for sure!

Jason playing with the train track!

Reward for going potty!

Hypnotized watching Elmo & Cookie Monster!

...tried to mow the lawn...couldn't start it...
couldn't get the garage door closed...scarey...
car wouldn't start Sunday morning...
4 kids dressed and ready for church and boiling hot outside...
Grandpa Fairbanks came to jump start it...
(...and 2 more times that day...)
school bus didn't pick up the kids...yikes!
Grandma had to come be the taxi...
...tried to take a test online while...
two little ones escaped to front yard...
...one of them naked from the waist down...

Who thought this was a good idea?

"I love you Nana," was repeated so many precious times...
...hugs.... kisses... and cheesy smiles...
...bedtime stories, prayers and Family Night
about the Three Little Pigs...
~ why we need to build strong homes...inside AND out ~

We connected, we bonded and we built great memories...

and that made it all worth it!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Seeing more clearly....

"Our trials can either end up hardening our heart
humbling us.
How true the saying,
"Suffering in life is inevitable, but misery is of our
own making."

"Often in the midst of suffering trials, afflictions, and discouragement,

those very circumstances
tutor us in developing increasing love and trust in God.
Consequently, what a great blessing those trials are!"

Gene R. Cook

Last night a close family friend called me. He was the Young Mens President when I was 16 years old, and I was called to be Laurel President. He seemed to love and care about me then, and these many years later, he still cares about me and my welfare. As I tearfully shared that I am trying to find out what my purpose is now, he gently counseled me to, "Be patient. Wait on the Lord. There is no good in Heavenly Father telling me right now, what is going to happen in two years!" He is so right.

One day at a time with a trusting heart!

"Plead fervently for understanding and the ability to endure.
Trust in him for that which you do not know
and you will come to know
much more!
Gene R. Cook

Today I am practicing PATIENCE with a more humble
and grateful heart!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Letting go and waiting...

This is a quote I have hanging next to the bathroom mirror.

Today is hard to see the life waiting for me.

Yesterday the sun was shining...
the warmth to body and soul was almost indescribable.
I had hope.

This afternoon the wind has blown in dark clouds,
a little rain,
and uncertainty.

Blessings have come overflowing,
of which I am eternally grateful.
So many kindnesses extended,
of which I couldn't make it without.

Today I just miss my Alain...

but tomorrow is a new day!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Home Repairs with Potatoes ....

I needed to change a light bulb!
Not hard right?
A simple little light bulb.

Well, as I took the cover off the light fixture and started to unscrew the bulb,
it broke off into my hand....
OK... how do I get that other part out that seems tight and stuck
without getting electrocuted?
This is where my panic and despair set in.

1. Alain isn't here to help me.

2. I know where the electrical panel is but have no idea what goes to what yet.

3. I don't want to bother anyone about this seemingly simple task.

("Hi, can you help me change a light bulb?")

Oh how my heart started to sink as I started pulling in
all the other things that are going to need to be done
and I don't have any idea about most of them.

Michelle happened to call and I began telling her my dilemma
and started to cry!
I told her I was going to call someone.
After we hung up, she called back and said,
"Judson said to get a potato, cut it in half, & stick it onto the part
of the bulb that was stuck... and twist and turn it
until it unscrews!
Oh my!

Wiping my tears I went and got a potato.
(Good thing I live in Idaho...)
I cut it in half, grabbed my step stool and marched towards victory.
Amazingly it worked.
Now the tears I shed next were happy.
Happy that I had been given a new tip by my son-in-law,
happy that I knew Alain would be proud of me,
("Good job honey"... I could hear him say!)
and happy that I am more capable than I think I am.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Healing with helping hands....

This wonderful neighbor and ward member
helped Alain replace our front door in January
when I was gone for two weeks.
It was supposed to be a surprise!

Jamie said Alain was SO excited to have it finished
and in place

when I returned.
Well... he was just too excited and ended up emailing pictures
to my cell phone of the finished door.
He had painted it with two tones and was so proud and excited.

When I returned,
he hadn't finished putting the trim up
and the door was a little "scrapie" along the bottom
when opening and closing.
instead of finishing....
Alain dropped everything (like he always did),
to help Aaron and Jamie
start moving into their new house.
He spent many hours that week helping Aaron prep and
get ready to paint their entire house.

I didn't worry...
because I knew it would be finished someday.
someday didn't come.

The entire time after Alain passed away,
dozens of people rang the doorbell and came inside.
I kept looking and looking at the unfinished door.
I knew he would feel so bad that he didn't get it finished.
I knew he would feel so bad that people would see our home that way.

That is why I was so very grateful that Shawn
sacrificed time away from his own family
and used his helping hands to truly serve.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Little "touches" from friends...

This is a repeat picture of my sweet friend Konda.
This is when she came over and spruced up my
raspberry patch!
(She grows the best raspberries in Rexburg!)

Last week was a VERY hard one for me.
The tears would not stop coming...
Konda rang the doorbell
and there she stood with the most
adorable fresh fruit bouquet!

She is clever. She is kind. She is gorgeous.
She is the best mom, wife, and grandma!
she is another person who has touched my life
for good!

Thank you Konda!