Sunday, September 25, 2011

His Sweatshirt.... My friends!

Island Park is about one hour from my home.  It is a beautiful get-away!  I joined a group of friends at a cabin there for a Friday night into Saturday. We enjoyed wonderful associations that we rarely get a chance to have.  I know that even though I am still feeling fragile at times, I try to make myself continue to do things that I normally would have done if Alain were here, to help either maintain or find myself again. Part of death and separation is finding out who the part of you is that is still left without them. I know in time it will be much easier...but I am living NOW.

I thought it might get a little cold, so I pulled out one of Alain's favorite sweatshirts. We saw him wearing it often during the past 15 years.  It is a sweatshirt from Lennex... a sheriff's station in the Los Angeles Sherriff's Department. Alain worked in this area of south central LA before we met. Wearing it brought back all kinds of good memories.

That's the part that has made this journey hard... memories.  I want to still talk about him.  I want other people to still talk about him.  Bring up memories they have or remember.  I know death is awkward and so many people feel like they don't know what to say, but saying nothing is almost worse than thinking you may say the wrong thing.  I've discovered that there can be many ways to "mourn with those who mourn."  A hug, a hello, a note in the mail, a phone call, asking, "How are you?", and the biggest one... "Is there anything I can do?"  Chances are the person will say that there isn't anything, but the blessing to both will be in the asking?

This is a picture I took right after a thunderstorm that Saturday.
Although I am a beginner, this picture is my new favorite!

He that is thy friend indeed,
he will help thee in thy need;
if thou sorrow, he will weep,
if you wake, he cannot sleep;
thus in every grief in heart,
he with thee doth bear a part.

Thank you my friends!
You touch my life for good!


Michelle L. said...

Oh Donna, I hope you know how much I think about you and pray for you. Still. :) I love reading all your thoughts here on your blog. You and Alain had such a special relationship. You both were such a good example of a strong and supportive marriage, and I just want to thank you for that. I loved seeing the twinkle in Alain's eye whenever he would talk about you. It made me think of a school boy's first crush. So cute! I am so glad and happy to know the both of you!
I am sending hugs, thoughts and prayers your way.

Kay Byers said...

Hi Donna,

I too follow your blog and am always impressed with your fortitude, love and appreciation for all that you have, and your honesty in sharing the difficulties of life, for now, without Alain. The memories I have of him and you and him will never be forgotten - only treasured. He is loved by so many and you are too! Your new favorite photograph is also my favorite! How beautiful. Your blog is enriched by your amazing talent as a photographer. You really ought to do something even more with that talent! We love and miss you here in CC2 - come and visit!


konda said...

Hi my Donna,
I always call you "my Donna". Your pictures are awesome. I am glad you didn't mention that you slept with a snoring bear.... you should've nudged me! I love you and I adore you. I think it's very healthy, no matter what your feelings are, that you don't suppress them and that you are willing to share them. I don't know if you could ever totally heal from the the heartache you feel but sharing should help. I hope I can help in anyway you need me. love you!