Announcing Mr. & Mrs....

Today is another timeline...
Nine months.

I was touched by an email I received from a very dear friend, Sharon.
One of the things she mentioned is the following...
"Donna, I really think that a great source of keeping your heart turned outward
is your deep, abiding gratitude....
MAYBE THAT IS THE SECRET TO GRIEVING...
WE JUST HAVE TO BE MORE THANKFUL THAN THE PAIN...
...THAT WOULD BE A LOT OF GRATITUDE!"

(Thank you for that PERFECT insight...
I agree 100% and I'm trying to outweigh it every day!)

The airport became more familiar again

as I flew to Augusta, Georgia

for Adam & Lauren's wedding!

The happy couple were married

October 29th

in a beautiful outdoor garden setting.

When we arrived in our hotel room

Lauren had a WELCOME basket 

for each person!

It was filled with goodies and treats and information

all about Augusta...

Alain's sister Chantal was my invited

traveling companion...

we had some great times this trip!

Many of our family were there for Adam & Lauren.

Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends!

Lauren has a wonderful family as well.

We all got along instantly and enjoyed getting to know one another.

(I could listen to that southern drawl all day long,

with a bonus of sitting on a rocking chair on the veranda!)

The BRIDE and her BRIDESMAIDS...

Some of the GROOMSMEN....

...another groomsman...  (so dashing I might add!)

I finally got to visit Brandon and Megan 

in North Augusta, South Carolina.

Look at this beautiful home!

The surroundings were just as stunning!

This is one of their three dogs...

JAKE!

Brandon so graciously offered to make us all lunch.

We all tried to pitch in, but he is too fast and too good

for us to keep up with.

The inside of their home was beautiful as well.

Adventure to Wyoming and Kindness of Family

I drove to Star Valley, Wyoming yesterday morning.

The drive around Palisades Dam was breathtaking.

I pulled over four times to take pictures.

Pretty daring for little me!

This is when I wish I had a big fancy camera.... sigh!

I arrived at Star 6 Ranch to spend a few days with my sister and her husband!

He always jumps for joy when I come..

No, he is so good to me and puts up with us!

He even took us down to the river and set up chairs,
so we could just sit and hear the babbling brook go by!

Her holiday decorations are a scream!

Neil fishing in the Salt River...

I promised my sister I wouldn't put the picture in of the two of us...

bad hair day...

so here are our shoes.  

 Wahoo!

My big sis called me up the night before I left,

and said, "Neil's got everything in the truck ready to go!"

I said, "We're really going to go to Paris?

(The cemetery in Idaho).

They had dark, rich soil,

rakes, shovels, pruners and grass seed ready to go!

We drove there and worked hard and made it look so nice.

(Not sure why the cemetery people hadn't taken care of it)

This is a picture from behind Alain's headstone. 

These are the weeping birch trees my mother planted

when my dad died 45 years ago.

I just can't believe how beautiful they are.

So grateful for this mid-week adventure

and for the love and help of family.

(This picture makes me feel like this can't be real...oh how I wish it wasn't.) 

Circle of service... touching my life!

Over the weekend...

the BYU-Idaho University 5th Ward Wonderful Kids...

  dropped by for some good 

old fashioned

SERVICE!

One of the jobs they did for me was to pick the rest of the apples from the trees...

I gave them some gallon size baggies and said to keep them to eat.
(the apples... not the baggies)!

Tonight I had to run to a friends home and left my garage door open.

When I arrived back...
there was the most beautiful, fresh, warm apple pie sitting on my steps.

These young kids were the most

HARDWORKING, POLITE, HANDSOME/BEAUTIFUL, GENUINE

kids on the face of the earth...

cream of the crop...

OUR FUTURE!

Gratitude isn't a big enough word for all the help I've received.

The darling couple on the left hand side of the picture are my dear friends.

(and the three girls in front of them are their adorable daughters...with one more in the very front).

Bruce and Wendy have been such a great help and support since Alain died.

Bruce was the person that got to Alain right after his accident

and was with him when he passed away.

 They have to be the cutest, most in love couple

I have ever seen.

Alain and I very much enjoyed being around them....
their example and friendship and love for life was refreshing.
Wish it could have lasted longer...

 I'm counting on it starting right where it left off ...
 when we're all together again one day!

This is a picture of the pie and the little note that was left with it.
I love the saying, 

"What goes around comes around."
Isn't it true.... good and bad?

What goes around...  service...comes around.... apples

...goes around.... service...comes around... apple pie!

I just love it... and I'm grateful to tears!

"You see, we can't stay home all our lives,

we must present ourselves to the world 

and we must look upon it as a 

  adventure."

                                                               Beatrix Potter

"Miss Potter" has to be my favorite movie.  Before Alain died we watched it several times.  He came home from work one day and asked me what I had done that day.  I said, "Watched Miss Potter..."  He said, "Again?"  That happened more than once.  We didn't have cable, and watching TV is one of my least favorite things to do... (life's too short)... but I did get hooked on this movie.  I loved her determination when her mother discounted her talent, spirit and her love for life and nature, I loved how she found true love in a man who understood why her parents couldn't except it (because they had never know "their" kind of love).  My heart broke for the tragic loss she experienced when Mr. Warne died suddenly, shattering her hopes and dreams for the future, but most of all I was impressed with her determination to once again move forward and make a difference in the world.

I waited for about six months before I thought I could watch it again....by myself this time.  One Sunday afternoon after church, I decided that "this was the day".  Even before it started.... just when the music started playing, tears (with minds of their own), streamed down my cheeks.  This day, her loss was even greater because of my loss, but also my hope was increased for the fact that I can indeed "present myself to the world and look upon it as an adventure."

PS.  Anyone want to go to the Lake District some day?

We may not always remember the people we laugh with, 

but we never forget the people we cry with.

I have been blessed with a two week reprieve

of many of the emotions that accompany loss.  

What a blessing!

  Time to catch my breath, 

look ahead,

and even feel confident that I will survive this. 

I have felt Alain reassuring me more than once

that I can do this and that he is proud of me.  

I am so grateful for the time and the experiences that we shared together... 

learning, laughing, & loving!

My voice would be that of asking my friends and family... 

are you doing the same?

Never take for granted what you have been given!

PS... Thanks for crying with me!

Reaping what you sow!

I wasn't able to do a lot with our garden this year. Before the snow melted I told myself I was just going to cover the entire garden. It seemed overwhelming to even think of planting, watering, weeding, harvesting and clean up all by myself. I did cover most of it up, but I left an area  for 1 tomato plant, 1 pumpkin plant, some peas and a row of sunflowers. Truly it was mostly ignored, but what ended up happening...? The tallest sunflowers ever, the biggest juiciest tomatoes, and one big fat pumpkin still growing as we speak. These sunflowers had to be 12 feet tall.  They made me happy!

I am sad that summer is over, I am thankful for the beautiful autumn weather we've had so far, and I am bracing myself for the cold, long winter ahead. That's another post!

As I look at the years before me, without my best friend, my wish is that I will be able to continue to sow and reap, sow and reap, sow and reap.  I hope to be able to gain knowledge and experience and then in turn, use that to be able to SERVE others as Alain learned to love and do. 

Looking out my bedroom window....and smiling!

His Sweatshirt.... My friends!

Island Park is about one hour from my home.  It is a beautiful get-away!  I joined a group of friends at a cabin there for a Friday night into Saturday. We enjoyed wonderful associations that we rarely get a chance to have.  I know that even though I am still feeling fragile at times, I try to make myself continue to do things that I normally would have done if Alain were here, to help either maintain or find myself again. Part of death and separation is finding out who the part of you is that is still left without them. I know in time it will be much easier...but I am living NOW.

I thought it might get a little cold, so I pulled out one of Alain's favorite sweatshirts. We saw him wearing it often during the past 15 years.  It is a sweatshirt from Lennex... a sheriff's station in the Los Angeles Sherriff's Department. Alain worked in this area of south central LA before we met. Wearing it brought back all kinds of good memories.

That's the part that has made this journey hard... memories.  I want to still talk about him.  I want other people to still talk about him.  Bring up memories they have or remember.  I know death is awkward and so many people feel like they don't know what to say, but saying nothing is almost worse than thinking you may say the wrong thing.  I've discovered that there can be many ways to "mourn with those who mourn."  A hug, a hello, a note in the mail, a phone call, asking, "How are you?", and the biggest one... "Is there anything I can do?"  Chances are the person will say that there isn't anything, but the blessing to both will be in the asking?

This is a picture I took right after a thunderstorm that Saturday.

Although I am a beginner, this picture is my new favorite!

He that is thy friend indeed,

he will help thee in thy need;

if thou sorrow, he will weep,

if you wake, he cannot sleep;

thus in every grief in heart,

he with thee doth bear a part.

Thank you my friends!
You touch my life for good!